Happy Mothers Day to all mothers (and mothers in law and step-mothers!)everywhere.

I am blessed to be the mother of my wonderful daughters, as well as the daughter in law of June - my friend, my "other mother", always kind, always fun, always there for me. I love you all so much!

I miss my mum.

This Mother's Day without you strains belief
In life and love and what it means to be,
But there is beauty in my lonely grief.

Your death is like a wound without relief,
Pain on pain as far as I can see,
And so this day without you strains belief.

What's the point of living when a thief
Can break into your heart so easily?
But there is beauty in my lonely grief.

You fell away from me, a withered leaf
Twisting down to darkness, leaving me
This day without you, chilling my belief.

And yet there's beauty in this burning brief
Bright burst of light that ends in agony,
Beauty in the cause of lonely grief,

The love I have for you, a jewel-like reef
In silent prayer beneath my empty sea.
This Mother's Day without you strains belief,
But there is beauty in my lonely grief.

bu Nicholas Gordon

Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day and I have had a really lovely time today. K and S gave me a hand-made card and a box of Maltesers (it has to be a box for the rattle) to go with the camera bag they'd got me earlier in the month when I first acquired the D40. I also received a beautiful plant from P which I'll try to photograph tomorrow. We went out for Sunday lunch with P's sister and her family and my lovely parents in law. After that P and K went to watch Everton play Arsenal and my mum in law, S and I just chatted and relaxed.

Since Mum died Mothers Day has never been quite the same though. I love being a mum but I miss being a daughter. Mum has been gone almost 18 years now but I have never stopped missing her - as time has gone by I am just aware of how much she has missed. She never saw either K or S. She never saw me as a parent. I never got to ask her advice and I've certainly needed it a lot over the years.

I'm incredibly lucky to have had a "second mum" in my lovely mother in law. But Mum, I miss you more than words can say. I would give so much just to hear your voice and to sit on the arm of your chair again and talk to you the way I used to. I miss the way you felt when I hugged you, the smell of your skin and your hair. I would be a better person if you were still here. I wouldn't have made so many mistakes I'm sure!

The August before she died, Mum came to the library where I was working with a homemade birthday cake she'd made. After she'd left we all had some cake and one of my colleagues said "You're lucky; your mum is really special." She was, and thank God I always knew that. Just over a month later she had left me forever.

The photo is of Mum (Edwina Rose); she was about 20 when this was taken. I think she looks so beautiful.

Love and hugs to mums everywhere today.