Wednesday, June 28, 2006


I have been waking up with feelings of dread again just lately as if the day has something horrible in store for me. It's like an enemy with no face. There's nothing to fight against if I can't see what it is I'm fighting....

Last night P was out and I was lonely so I tackled the pine box where I keep paperwork and stuff and had a bit of a filing and sorting session. Of course I found it full of Phil's "stuff" - when I complain too much about the piles of paperwork he leaves around the house he tends to scoop it up and shove it out of sight!

I found a lot of cards that the girls have made or sent me over the years so have put them into folders. I started doing that with the letters and cards etc that T has given me and it seems a good way of keeping together those precious things that you will look back on fondly in years to come. I did get tearful looking through them.

I have been thinking a lot about something my friend M in the US is doing. She is a photographer and has volunteered her services to take pics of babies that die at birth or soon after so the parents have a lasting memory of a life that never even started. She got her first call this past weekend and interrupted her camping trip to answer it. I am in awe of her courage in doing this. I'm not sure i could.

At the top of the post is a pic of me, aged 5.

5 comments:

Kristine said...

wow - that is an amazing service your friend is providing. That must be difficult. What a wonderful idea though...wow.

CG said...

Yes, I am so proud of her!!

34quinn said...

Hey cg, you were a cute little kid.
To your friend I send a huge thank you, I have never lost a child, I cannot imagine. But to have someone willing to come in and help you to have some memories to hold on to . In the begining I can imagine it would be ever so hard but years later in rememberance how lovely to have.
I have a girlfriend that every year she goes to the grave of her baby girl that was stillborn 16 years ago.
We talk of who she may have been etc etc. how nice a few photos would be for her.

Mel said...

You were simply adorable! I have the same thing with Six Toes and his stuff and how he shuffles it off out of site when I complain. If he doesn't get to it (which he often doesn't) I have a drawer for his "stuff/junk" and then I only have to work on getting him to empty it when it's full.

Thank you for your kind words about my volunteer work. It's not an easy thing to do, but to know that I am giving some kind of a memory to the parents that they will always have to cherish makes it somewhat barable. I know that I would want this if I were in that situation, so I think that helps to give me the strength to do this service.

CG said...

Thanks for the kind comments on my pic! I actually remember having that photo taken and how long it seemed to take. There is another one with me holding our dog that I can't find - I don't know who looked more embarrassed, him or me!