Wednesday, June 28, 2006
I have been waking up with feelings of dread again just lately as if the day has something horrible in store for me. It's like an enemy with no face. There's nothing to fight against if I can't see what it is I'm fighting....
Last night P was out and I was lonely so I tackled the pine box where I keep paperwork and stuff and had a bit of a filing and sorting session. Of course I found it full of Phil's "stuff" - when I complain too much about the piles of paperwork he leaves around the house he tends to scoop it up and shove it out of sight!
I found a lot of cards that the girls have made or sent me over the years so have put them into folders. I started doing that with the letters and cards etc that T has given me and it seems a good way of keeping together those precious things that you will look back on fondly in years to come. I did get tearful looking through them.
I have been thinking a lot about something my friend M in the US is doing. She is a photographer and has volunteered her services to take pics of babies that die at birth or soon after so the parents have a lasting memory of a life that never even started. She got her first call this past weekend and interrupted her camping trip to answer it. I am in awe of her courage in doing this. I'm not sure i could.
At the top of the post is a pic of me, aged 5.