S on her 11th birthday at a nearby shire horse centre.

I have a friend in hospital. I am worried about her. Lately I don't feel I've been a good enough friend to her.

Another very hot day here in England. Tonight I've been to an induction evening at the high school and we collected S's uniform for september. I have very mixed feelings about my baby going to high school. It's the end of an era. I don't feel she is as ready as her big sister was either but after her tour round tonight and meeting her form teacher she seems fairly ok about everything. It will simplify life having them both at the same school again...but the days of nativity plays and cake sales etc are over for me and i feel a bit sad about it.

At my baby bounce session this morning I was looking round at the mums and babies and thinking how fleeting those days of babyhood are and you just don't know it at the time. I love my girls more the older they get but it's a different relationship - well, I can't reduce them to giggles anymore by pretending to throw them up in the air! We are evolving but I'm not sure yet what we're evolving into!

When will i start to feel like a grown up? Someone who has all the answers? Sometimes i feel the older I get the less i know about life. i am tired of making so many mistakes as they don't just impact on me but on everyone else.

On the exercise front I went for a bike ride. After my course tomorrow I'll swim and then hopefully walk in the evening.