"I choose to do these things not because they are easy but because they are hard..." (inspired by JFK)
Get yourself to the Dr. If not for the one problem, do it for the black cloud. The two are interrelated, but the cloud takes precedence. Then you should be able to see your way clear to get the other taken care of. Just my 2 pence. I do know of what I am speaking. Listen to the old man , Please.
Yup, TC is right, that black cloud can be horrific if left unattended to. I have many friends on the net who have said that they felt the same way at one point. On in particular was set against the idea of any meds to help, but finally let the doctor talk them into trying something for a couple months and could stop if they felt it didn't help. It's been many years and that person said it was the best thing they ever did. That little edge of depression, which I suspect is what you're dealing with, was taken off by a simple perscription.[mother mode on]GO TO THE DOCTOR!!! Get a diagnosis and see how much brighter the world might be able to be with a little help. Worst case scenario, it might not help (tho I doubt that will be the case), but at least you can say you gave it a go.[/mother mode off]
For whatever reason, reading your blog today has given me the courage to go to the doctor myself. I just called and made an appointment. I have had a very bad pain in my right underarm and next to my right breast for about a year now and I keep ignoring it. The pain was off and on. It is now constant. It is time to go in and check it out. I am scared too.I hope you are ok.
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