Tuesday, September 02, 2008
A courtyard at Laycock Abbey which was used as Hogwarts in one of the Harry Potter films!
Well, it's a sad day as the summer holidays come to an end and my girls return to school tomorrow. I will miss them so much when we are all spending our days apart. I know there are mums for whom the holidays seem too long but I have never felt that way somehow. I am going to be counting the days until our October break when we all get to go away together to the Lakes.
Yesterday was nice as Kate had a bunch of friends round and Sian had her best friend Laura to stay. It was great having a house full of gorgeous, lively, funny teenagers.
In some ways I like September as it always feels like the start of a "new year" in some respects (I loathe January so always feel September makes a better start to the year...)but as I get older I'm terribly conscious of time passing - this summer will never come again and next year Kate will be 16. Where have all those childhood years gone? I don't wish them any other age than the age they are right now - beautiful and bright young women who are the best company imaginable - but sometimes I miss my "little girls" who only yesterday were my babies. This week I had some very happy news; a friend is expecting her first baby! I want to tell her to cherish every second as time goes by so fast...but she won't understand quite what I mean as she comes to terms with colic and nappy rash, sleepless nights and teething, the decisions about breastfeeding and vaccinations, weaning and routines. Often you feel a baby is a baby for so long...and then suddenly you're checking their GCSE coursework for them! One minute they are starting school, the next you're wondering about university.
The song from Mamma Mia (Slipping through my fingers) is playing in my head again. I'll be crying in a minute!! Funny, I never thought of myself as very maternal, certainly not a "natural mother". Motherhood came hard to me; I still don't feel I've ever quite got the hang of it - never really earned my stripes as it were. No-one ever said "you're a good mum"! But I love my girls beyond words, more with every year that passes and hope I've managed to be, if not "good" then at least "good enough".
Kate & Sian, thank you for being my wonderful daughters.