Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It's been a funny week so far; I've been feeling a bit like staying in the house and never ever venturing out again - not very practical is it with a job and a family to look after!

I have often noticed that if I allow myself to feel happy and satisfied with myself and with life in general, something comes along and destroys that feeling. I suppose it's why I'm generally a pessimist - my theory being that if you always expect the worst you are never disappointed!

This week, two things have happened that have dented my confidence quite badly; both in myself as a person and in my abilities. In the latter I have at least had a lot of reassurance that I am not at really fault, but I still feel I have let people down especially someone who really trusted me to do a good job.

Here I am approaching fifty - fifty!! - and I'm still so often an insecure, unconfident mess of a person! I wonder if the day will ever come when I stop feeling like a work in progress? Will I ever stop caring SO MUCH what other people think of me?

I am also so worried about one of my daughters who is not having an easy time of late and yet is incredibly resiliant, brave and strong! I'm so proud of her but would give anything to be able to solve her problems and ease her pain...

I heard someone say today that it's not how you handle success that counts but how you handle failure. To be honest, I've felt pretty much that I've failed on several fronts this week but I'll try to handle it successfully - because, well, hibernation isn't really an option, is it?

8 comments:

mrsnesbitt said...

We all have times which all together are not part of a good period. I throw myself into housework, especially washing! lol!

Annie said...

We could go and hibernate together if you like. I've had a pretty rough week this week too, and I feel a bit lost in myself at the moment. On top of all that, the flippin' gerbil bit my baby finger this morning and drew lots of blood! I didn't realise we'd bought a vampire gerbil!!

Hugs xxxx

Scriptor Senex said...

I don't think we ever stop being a work in progress. The fact that you were conscious you had let someone down and worried about it makes you an OK person in my book. Too many people either wouldn't notice or wouldn't care.

As for your daughter's problems I guess every parent has been there - for me it's the hardest thing about parenting but at the end of the day we have to remember they are grown up and life can be hard. Having said that, here's hoping better days are round the corner for you both.

(Sounds like a lecture from a Dutch Uncle - nearly as long as your post!)

Akelamalu said...

There are always ups and downs in life. If you didn't have the downs you wouldn't be able to appreciate the ups. Stop worrying so much m'deario. xxxx

Kerri said...

Ah....we are so much alike, you and I. I hope things are looking up by the time you read this!

Faye Pekas said...

I can understand where you are. There is nothing that brings me down as much as knowing someone I love is going through a hard time. Keep hanging in and remember that this will pass.

photowannabe said...

I have to echo Faye's previous comments.
I'm glad to can share some of this with us..your blogging friends. I care and wish I could be closer to give you a hug and just be your friend.

The Duck said...

(((((HUGS)))))