It's been a funny week so far; I've been feeling a bit like staying in the house and never ever venturing out again - not very practical is it with a job and a family to look after!
I have often noticed that if I allow myself to feel happy and satisfied with myself and with life in general, something comes along and destroys that feeling. I suppose it's why I'm generally a pessimist - my theory being that if you always expect the worst you are never disappointed!
This week, two things have happened that have dented my confidence quite badly; both in myself as a person and in my abilities. In the latter I have at least had a lot of reassurance that I am not at really fault, but I still feel I have let people down especially someone who really trusted me to do a good job.
Here I am approaching fifty - fifty!! - and I'm still so often an insecure, unconfident mess of a person! I wonder if the day will ever come when I stop feeling like a work in progress? Will I ever stop caring SO MUCH what other people think of me?
I am also so worried about one of my daughters who is not having an easy time of late and yet is incredibly resiliant, brave and strong! I'm so proud of her but would give anything to be able to solve her problems and ease her pain...
I heard someone say today that it's not how you handle success that counts but how you handle failure. To be honest, I've felt pretty much that I've failed on several fronts this week but I'll try to handle it successfully - because, well, hibernation isn't really an option, is it?