Wednesday, August 19, 2009
This was taken at the Abercrombie & Fitch store in Saville Row, London.
This morning I went shopping with the girls to Cheshire Oaks. All I wanted were some new knickers from M&S but they didn't have the style I wanted in my size. I did buy some 99% cocoa Lindt chocolate though. I have "educated" myself into only eating small amounts of at least 70% and more often than not 85% dark choc instead of loads Cadbury's Dairy Milk and I have surprised myself by really enjoying it. It's funny how a little is satisfying wheras I could happily munch my way through a huge bar of CDM over a couple of days - just keeping on visiting the fridge for another chunk. I think it was the sugar I was craving rather than the chocolate. I have now almost eliminated sugar and caffeine from my diet, something I used to think would be Mission Impossible.
Some fellow Facebook users on the Harcombe Diet are apparently weighing themselves daily and they are making posts saying "up one pound today - must have been those tomatoes!" and similar things. I'm deliberately not weighing myself OR saying I'm trying to lose weight (although that would be nice!) but just trying to eat like a normal human being for the first time in my life. For as long as i can remember weight has been an issue and food has always been a source of guilt rather than pleasure. At my lightest I was about 8.5 stone, size 10 was loose on me and yet I STILL felt fat and ugly.
Today I was tempted to buy some scales but I don't want my life ruled by what number appears on the dial. Weight fluctuates daily due to water retention etc and daily weighing seems utterly pointless and demoralising to me. But I know if I start even weekly weighing, I'll have my week blighted if i've not lost or worse, actually GAINED weight! I'm quite capable of blighting my week with my own worries without weight gain adding to it! My clothes are getting gradually looser (hence need for new knickers!) and at some point I might get around to measuring myself - if I'm feeling brave!
I need to work out some sort of new exercise routine now I've had to leave the gym; but I'll wait until the girls are back at school for that.