Sunday, August 23, 2009

I have been aware for some time that I'm very unhappy and am not enjoying life nearly as much as I should be. I know why, I'm just not at all sure what I should do about it.

Today it all got too much for me and I know I can't carry on like this. One aspect of my life is blighting my every waking moment. I feel as if I'm walking around with my own personal black cloud over my head and all the joy is being sucked out of life. Even our recent lovely holiday was overshadowed by the worry and gloom I'm carrying around with me. I'm not sleeping well and when i do sleep , i have nightmares!

The trouble is it's not easy to fix and fixing it involves a certain amount of "giving up" and admitting that I've made a mistake. I feel like a failure and a coward .... But I honestly don't know how much longer I can function like this. I feel I'm wasting so much time when I could be happy with my family and friends.

I have tried and tried to beat these feelings but I can't - I just can't. I really don't know what to do - I just know I can't go on like this. The thing is, life can be short - you never know what's waiting round the corner. I feel like I'm wasting "right now" which is all any of us can be sure of - by being in a constant state of worry, anxiety and misery!

Sorry to be so down.


Annie said...

oooh, you're so cryptic!! LOL. on the upside (the positive bit) you know where the problem lies. Only you can do something about it. Trust your instinct. I'm a bit believer in instinct and it doesn't usually let me down when I go with it. Take your heart out of the discussion in your head when deciding what to do and do what you know is right. If there are any consequences, you have to deal with them because you can't keep on going under a black cloud.

You know where I am if you want a coffee or just a chat on the phone anytime.. and I mean ANYTIME! I'm a good listener and you never know, I might even come up with advise LOL... and it will stop me wallowing in self pity about my camera!

Big hugs and lots of love.. you know you'll do the right thing. It's just making the decision to do it and then go through with it.

xxx Annie

photowannabe said...

{{Hugs}} I'm too far for much else than words but I am here for you too. If you need to let it out I'm a good ear too without all the personal baggage. Will be thinking of you today.

Akelamalu said...

Dump whatever is making you so unhappy - life's too short m'dear to hang on to things like that. xxxx

Mabe the Babe said...

I can so relate to how you're feeling - I've been there to be honest so don't feel alone or beat yourself up about it. You know where I am if you ever want to talk - and I hope you know I mean that XXX