Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Disco hero.

Well, the funeral is over and life is returning to normal. A new sort of normal, without June. I think it is slowly dawning on me that she has gone. I can't really fully take it in yet.

I haven't really cried since it happened. I've had moments when my eyes have filled with tears but I've not had a real cleansing crying session. It would be better than the horrible vague ache in my heart that seems to be colouring everything a delicate grey.

Three days after June died we photographed a wedding. I'm still not sure quite how we managed it! But you know, you can't let people down on their wedding day. We did have a good friend/great photographer come along with us on the day in case Phil needed a "moment". But he didn't - he was great. I was so proud of him that day....

I am so tired and have so much I need to do. Today was my "day off" and it started early with getting a wash on, and a casserole in the slow cooker. Then a couple of hours of photo editing, then off for my riding lesson and an afternoon of RDA volunteering. Then back home and more editing...supper and MORE editing...but it's now FINISHED!

The garden is overgrown and ripe tomatoes are rotting on the ground because I haven't had time to pick them! We have another wedding this Saturday and then a bit of a break before the next one - and I'm hoping to get caught up on a few chores eventually.

My "to-do" list is evergrowing and i'm not crossing anything off. I think I'd like a holiday at home, on my own. I would potter and work through my list....My lovely family could go somewhere and have fun without me and when they got back I'd be caught up, serene and happy to have them back with me!

It'll never happen but it's nice to dream!


Belle said...

I know what you mean. Sometimes the thought of just being alone for a few days is inviting. I hope you get at least one or two days by yourself soon.

Akelamalu said...

Such a sad time takes it out of you. You need to stop worrying about your 'to do' list, it will all get done eventually. Take time to contemplate m'dear. x

mrsnesbitt said...

You don't "Have" to cry - you may just want to sit and smile as you remember her with fondness and love - you will miss her but her memory will make you smile with pride! I hope anyway hun xx

Dianne said...

I love all the family photos below this post
many hugs over the loss of dear June

Disco Phil rocks, what a wonderful portrait

think of you often

Manchester Lass, Now and Then said...

Just wanted to let you know I have been thinking of you all♥ Linda xx

cheshire wife said...

Your Phil could be my husband's younger brother! They are very alike.

Don't worry about the 'to-do' list. If you leave things long enough they go away.