Thursday, January 28, 2010

That's it, I quit. My job. Not my job in the library - no, that earns me a salary each month, I'm part of a team and I have the satisfaction of helping people who by and large are grateful and appreciative. I'm not quitting the wedding photography job either. It's stressful and it's a lot of effort but it's rewarding when the happy couple are pleased with what you've done for them. Nor my voluntary job with RDA which pays me back in spades with the sense of helping disadvantaged people get a bit more out of life...

No, the job I'm quitting is unpaid in any monetary way and I don't get any thanks for it either. It's general maid, cook, chaueffeur and dogsbody to two teenage princesses who barely lift a finger unless it's to tap keys on the computer. I have begged and pleaded for minimum amounts of help - the occasional cup of tea, the occasional push around of the Hoover. That cups and plates be removed to the kitchen. I don't even ask them to do dishes.It would mean SO MUCH to me, just those little bits of help.

But they toil not, neither do they spin. And I've had it. I quit.

15 comments:

Mary Ann said...

Hey I know the job you are talking about, I am doing the same to the two princess' that live in my house, but, I decided a while ago that if they play they pay. and if they don't want to be locked up in the tower like Rapunzel, they know what they need to do..

you go girlfriend, teach them to be their best, don't worry they may not like you now but they will thank you sometime..cheers.

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photowannabe said...

Oh Julie...I'm sorry life has become difficult on the teenage front. Don't have any pearly wisdom for you. Maybe you are just TOO nice and good of a Mom to them.
Perhaps going on strike for a while would work.

Akelamalu said...

Good for you - let them suffer! LOL

Scriptor Senex said...

I wish it were as easy as that! Sadly, failing to clean up after them only results in even more stress unless you change the locks when they are out!
If it's any consolation (and I know it won't be) you are far from alone!!

Dianne said...

I have had that job as well!
let them fend for themselves
just make sure to tell them why you're quitting
in as calm and facutal a way as you can muster

mrsnesbitt said...

Hi Julie, hope you are feeling better! I would give anything to have my mum here, sometimes we are just so unappreciated. HUGS Dxxx

SM said...

clicked next blog and found yours. So funny!!!
I know what you mean. I asked my son to bring me the carpets I washed from the bathroom and he brought me the ones that the dog was laying on. Doing it wrong just so they are not asked to do it again. good luck on quitting the job!! :)
I'll be following to see updates ;)

cheshire wife said...

I do sympatheise with you. Unfortunately SS maybe right.

My husband used to expect me to do everything until I got through to him that two people lived in the house and I did not expect one to do eveything.

Cathifach said...

There's no simple solution. Just be reassured that your final paragraph could have been my very same words. I know EXACTLY how you're feeling and just how wearing it is. NOt much help I know except to say that you're not alone. XXX

Glenna Yong said...

I think my mom pretended that she has menopause to get us to do the chores. Still didn't work though. We then agreed to hire a cleaner who comes every week on our (the children's) expense. We don't have a hobby of dishes collecting, fortunately. That'd be gross.

ali said...

I raised 4 daughters and so I hear your plight. Kindly, stop "asking" them to do chores, intead, Tell them. You don't have to be vicious, just firm. How will they ever learn when on their own if they don't start at home? I also had each cook one night a month. They planned and told me what they needed to purchase. I bought. They cooked. Those nights, I did the dishes. Now they are all self-suffient and Great cooks too! best wishes.

Direction said...

You could try what the mom did on the show "The Middle" this week. Promise the kids you will quit nagging if they start helping out. It seemed hopeless but in the end it worked. I am 27 and love my mom to death but I know when I was a teenager and she nagged on me to do something I was a lot less likely to do it because it felt like I was letting her win. Nagging creates negative feelings on the receiver and when you are bitter towards a person you are not going to help them. Try some positive reinforcement. Not bribing, but find out some of their interests. If its art, say if you help me clean up today, on Sunday we will go see the new exhibit at such and such. You might need to do some digging online to see what types of things in area are an interest to teens. It will impress them that you are taking such an interest in what they like.

Good Luck,
Jen

Kerri said...

Oh, I have been here! And I was the princess who didn't help her mother. And I SOOOO much regret that now. I think there is a stage that kids go thru....and I'm sure your lovely girls will snap out of it and come around. I would love to go back in time and change that period in my life.
((hugs))