I haven't blogged for a few days; I've been so busy and so hot!

Sian returned from Berlin; she really enjoyed her trip but I have my doubts as to how educational it was! She was very vague about what she'd seen and done and I don't think she spoke much German!

Big excitement in my little world; I have a new fridge! The old one was about 14 years old and well past its prime. The trouble is, we have a very narrow alcove in our kitchen for the fridge to fit in so I needed to find a tall narrow replacement. That's not easy - I finally located the only tall narrow fridge in the country, I think!

The other thing I've been doing is dieting. I generally don't like or believe in diets. However I found one that quite appealed to me (the Harcombe diet)as it tackles food cravings which I have in abundance. It also focuses on eating unprocessed foods which I think is a good thing.

The first phase of the diet which lasts for five days is quite strict - I can only eat fish, meat, salad, eggs, vegetables, olives and natural yoghurt. No milk,bread, potatoes,chocolate, sugar, no caffeinated tea or coffee. Hmmm, it's been REALLY tough! The idea is to knock cravings on the head. After the initial five days, you can eat more normally but only unprocessed foods and in certain (easy) combinations. I have to say I am really excited about the prospect of eating shredded wheat for breakfast on Thursday! This phase lasts until you've lost any weight you want to, then you can return to eating normally but still avoiding processed foods.

I've realised how often I reach for food out of habit instead of hunger. If all you can eat is something you don't really WANT to eat, you don't eat it unless you are actually hungry!

I'm amazed I'm on Day 4 as I have zero will power! I'm also amazed how many foods have added sugar in them! It's everywhere - bread, curry paste, tinned ham, you name it! I have felt really lousy these four days. No energy and a permanent dull headache!

Off for a cup of herbal tea now....

Off to Berlin...

This morning i drove Sian to Liverpool Airport as she was off on a trip to Berlin. She's had such a traumatic time of late she wasn't sure she wanted to go but in the end decided to give it a go! It was hard saying goodbye to her but she looked pretty relaxed and happy when I left her. i'll be glad when she's home though!

RDA didn't need me this afternoon so i went for a lovely walk with J and Buster; really enjoyed myself.



Ihanks to Akelamalu for this lovely award! It's for "best follower" of your blog but I couldn't choose between the kind folk who read, comment and support me, so please if you would like this, take it with love from me!

Apologies for those who couldn't get the link to Facebook to work for Kate's photos of the prom - it works ok for me but maybe it's some FB techie thing - it's beyond me!

I was thrilled to get another wedding booking for next year from a lovely couple we met the other weekend. They said really nice things about our work which was encouraging as I've been having a crisis of confidence about the photography lately.

Now it's a choice between clearing up the kitchen or sitting in the sun with my book...hmm, which is it to be?

A tale of two parties...

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times......" just about sums up last week for me! After my post on Wednesday things continued to get worse and worse and I was feeling more and more hopeless and worried. In the midst of it all, I was doing last minute errands with Kate helping her to get ready for her Prom on Friday night. We needed to buy shoes and get her some beautiy treatments, hair accessories etc. It involved a lot of driving around and time but I think the result was worth it (see photo above!)

So the first party was Kate's prom, which of course I didn't attend although I'd love to have been a fly on the wall! After work I drove straight to Kate's friend E's house where her posse were putting the finishing touches to their outfits. Phil and I were taking photos of them all and I'd left my camera bag packed and ready for Phil to bring - but unfortunately he'd not heard me ask him to bring it so he didn't! Phil's camera is too heavy for me to use especially as my right arm is still hurting like mad, so Phil took the photos and I "arranged" the girls - it was just like doing wedding groups LOL. You can see more prom pictures here

E's parents had provided champagne, Buck's Fizz and nibbles; it was all lovely and a couple of other parents were there too. After they'd all left for the prom, Phil, Sian and I went home for a takeaway curry and a DVD night. Kate really enjoyed her party, they all seemed to have a lovely time and it was worth all the effort to see them all look so beautiful!

Saturday was a pretty crap day, really, and although Phil and I were supposed to be attending a 50th birthday party in the village I was certain we wouldn't go. Neither of us are party people and I can remember only enjoying a few parties ever in my life (my friend A's parties in CA and my friend J's parties here in Helsby being notable exceptions!) - when I was a child I actually used to CRY when invited to parties!

But anyway, we went! And I'm so glad we did! We had a fabulous evening. Most of my Helsby girlfriends were there plus other halfs (with two exceptions - D & J, we really missed you both!!) plus other people we know from the village and it was just fun, and relaxing and cheering. We were able to put our anxieties to the back of our minds for a few hours and just enjoy ourselves. Thank you so much for inviting us, A!

It was nice to meet up with fellow blogger Clarkey who is a lovely person I've known for years (we have kids of similar ages) and who lives locally but somehow our paths seldom cross. I have just started reading her blog and it's uncanny how often we think the same things or feel the same way about stuff. Anyway, it was just really good to see her in the flesh, so to speak and have a real chat!

Yesterday was Father's Day which I think we all enjoyed. So the week was a mix of highs and lows. None of the problems are resolved in any way but we are all still alive and hopefully this week may be better!

I am so grateful for all the thoughtful comments and support I get from my blogfriends. You help me more than you know.

It's been a funny week so far; I've been feeling a bit like staying in the house and never ever venturing out again - not very practical is it with a job and a family to look after!

I have often noticed that if I allow myself to feel happy and satisfied with myself and with life in general, something comes along and destroys that feeling. I suppose it's why I'm generally a pessimist - my theory being that if you always expect the worst you are never disappointed!

This week, two things have happened that have dented my confidence quite badly; both in myself as a person and in my abilities. In the latter I have at least had a lot of reassurance that I am not at really fault, but I still feel I have let people down especially someone who really trusted me to do a good job.

Here I am approaching fifty - fifty!! - and I'm still so often an insecure, unconfident mess of a person! I wonder if the day will ever come when I stop feeling like a work in progress? Will I ever stop caring SO MUCH what other people think of me?

I am also so worried about one of my daughters who is not having an easy time of late and yet is incredibly resiliant, brave and strong! I'm so proud of her but would give anything to be able to solve her problems and ease her pain...

I heard someone say today that it's not how you handle success that counts but how you handle failure. To be honest, I've felt pretty much that I've failed on several fronts this week but I'll try to handle it successfully - because, well, hibernation isn't really an option, is it?

We are lucky enough to have a really great butchers in our neighbouring town of Frodsham. It's first port of call on barbecue days and as you can see by the sign, also the place you can get some wonderful pies. I have often been stopped by men in vans asking me "where's the place which sells the great pies?" They come from miles around! I was at Coward's last Monday taking a photo of the shop (not this one) for an exhibition on Frodsham which the photographic society are putting on.

I'm in the middle of watching "The Reader" DVD while doing the ironing. Not sure yet what I think about it! So far it's quite slow and Kate Winslett has been naked for most of the time. i am so glad I'm not married to an actor who has to do explicit love scenes!

Two weddings on two successive Saturdays and the weather couldn't have been more different! This photo is from the wedding on May 30th which was brilliantly sunny and HOT the whole day, last Saturday's wedding was cold and wet the whole time!

Both types of weather create their own challenges; I think I actually found the very sunny day hardest as there was so much harsh sunlight paired with inky shadows - nightmarish exposure-wise. I learn something new every wedding I shoot and the fact that you never know what challenges the day will hold make it both rewarding and absolutely terrifying...!

View from Top of the Rock, originally uploaded by xxxjuliexxx.

Our Tuesday in New York was supposed to be the day we met up with Dianne from Forks Off The Moment but sadly that was not to be - next time, I hope, Dianne! Instead we decided to go to the "Top of the Rock" and we really enjoyed it! It was very quiet compared to the Empire State Building and had great views. It's nice that they use perspex rather than wire mesh so the views are uninterrupted.

After we came down, we visited Magnolia Bakery for a delicious cupcake each - yum! We really enjoyed them. Afterwards we spotted two mounted police officers and went over to say hello and get a photo of Sian with them. We were surprised how small the horses are compared to the ones you see in the UK.

We went to Chelsea and the Empire Diner for lunch; Phil and I had been there on our last trip and really liked it and wanted to share it with the girls. After a short wait we got a table and our food was superb; it was probably my favourite meal of the trip!

After that we headed back to 5th Avenue and stopped off at Tiffany's. I wasn't intending to buy anything but on the 3rd Floor (Phil calls it the "cheap floor" as it's the only floor we ever buy anything on!) I was seduced by some lovely silver tiffany rings. I bought the girls one each and one for myself as a memento of our wonderful trip. In the elevator going down, the operator serendaded Kate with "It's now or never" in a beautiful voice, gazing straight into her eyes - I laughed so hard my FEET were sweating!!

We made a brief stop at FAO Schwarz so Sian could play on the big piano and then wandered up to Columbus Circle. We went into a Borders store there as Kate wanted to check out a friend's theory that Borders stores smell the same all over the world! There were some VERY interesting statues of a naked man and a naked woman in the foyer - hmmm!

That evening we went to City Field to see the Mets; it was a damp evening but we had a great time; despite poor Kate having to stand for what felt like hours in the queue for my nachos! The new stadium is very impressive and we didn't miss Shea stadium TOO much. i wonder if we should rename our cat Shea "City Field"? Maybe not...Anyway, the Mets won!

Our last day we had promised to dedicate to shopping; we headed first to Abercrombie & Fitch, Mecca for Kate. The store is quite an experience, very dark and full of staff who look like models and dance to the pounding music played continually. After Abercrombie we headed towards American Eagle stopping off for another Magnolia Cupcake & coffee; on the way I noticed a jeweller's selling Pandora stuff. Almost before I knew what was happening we had been sold a safety chain for my bracelet plus a charm to commemorate my visit - I chose a cupcake to symbolise Magnolia Bakery!

Kate shopped like mad at American Eagle; I sat in a chair while she piled stuff on top of me! Then it was time to head back to the Upper West Side where we had lunch at Cosi. We took the airport shuttle back to Newark and our trip was over. It was a wonderful holiday and I'll never forget it!

I miss New York!

Our Tuesday in New York was supposed to be the day we met up with Dianne from Forks Off The Moment but sadly that was not to be - next time, I hope, Dianne! Instead we decided to go to the "Top of the Rock" and we really enjoyed it! It was very quiet compared to the Empire State Building and had great views. It's nice that they use perspex rather than wire mesh so the views are uninterrupted.

After we came down, we visited Magnolia Bakery for a delicious cupcake each - yum! We really enjoyed them. Afterwards we spotted two mounted police officers and went over to say hello and get a photo of Sian with them. We were surprised how small the horses are compared to the ones you see in the UK.

We went to Chelsea and the Empire Diner for lunch; Phil and I had been there on our last trip and really liked it and wanted to share it with the girls. After a short wait we got a table and our food was superb; it was probably my favourite meal of the trip!

After that we headed back to 5th Avenue and stopped off at Tiffany's. I wasn't intending to buy anything but on the 3rd Floor (Phil calls it the "cheap floor" as it's the only floor we ever buy anything on!) I was seduced by some lovely silver tiffany rings. I bought the girls one each and one for myself as a memento of our wonderful trip. In the elevator going down, the operator serendaded Kate with "It's now or never" in a beautiful voice, gazing straight into her eyes - I laughed so hard my FEET were sweating!!

We made a brief stop at FAO Schwarz so Sian could play on the big piano and then wandered up to Columbus Circle. We went into a Borders store there as Kate wanted to check out a friend's theory that Borders stores smell the same all over the world! There were some VERY interesting statues of a naked man and a naked woman in the foyer - hmmm!

That evening we went to City Field to see the Mets; it was a damp evening but we had a great time; despite poor Kate having to stand for what felt like hours in the queue for my nachos! The new stadium is very impressive and we didn't miss Shea stadium TOO much. i wonder if we should rename our cat Shea "City Field"? Maybe not...Anyway, the Mets won!

Our last day we had promised to dedicate to shopping; we headed first to Abercrombie & Fitch, Mecca for Kate. The store is quite an experience, very dark and full of staff who look like models and dance to the pounding music played continually. After Abercrombie we headed towards American Eagle stopping off for another Magnolia Cupcake & coffee; on the way I noticed a jeweller's selling Pandora stuff. Almost before I knew what was happening we had been sold a safety chain for my bracelet plus a charm to commemorate my visit - I chose a cupcake to symbolise Magnolia Bakery!

Kate shopped like mad at American Eagle; I sat in a chair while she piled stuff on top of me! Then it was time to head back to the Upper West Side where we had lunch at Cosi. We took the airport shuttle back to Newark and our trip was over. It was a wonderful holiday and I'll never forget it!

I miss New York!

The Monday of our trip, we decided to take the subway to Brooklynm and walk back over the Brooklyn Bridge. I have done this every visit to NYC and it has always been in hot sunny weather. It's such a great experience.

After the bridge we had a look at the supreme court buildings and then headed towards the Ground Zero site, stopping off at a pretty park with a fountain en route.We visited a wonderful exhibition at St Paul's Chapel - "the little church that stood" on our way to Ground Zero. Located directly across from the World Trade Center site, St. Paul's Chapel, an Episcopal church, was home to an extraordinary eight-month volunteer relief effort after the terrorist attacks of September 11th, 2001. Unwavering Spirit, a new interactive exhibit, honors that ministry and its legacy of love and compassion. I know that we were all terribly moved by this exhibition. It brought home to me that although the terrorist actions that day destroyed lives, broke hearts and changed the face of the world for ever, it did not destroy the human spirit or the essential goodness inside people. I felt very humbled and also very hopeful for the future of humanity.

It was broiling hot and I felt very sorry for the workmen toiling away on the new Freedom Tower site. We went on to the cool of the Winter Garden, a place we'd never seen before, and found a nice sandwich shop called Cosi for lunch. I wish we had the Cosi chain in the UK! Outside the Winter Garden is a lovely riverfront plaza. we then took a look around the Financial District; sadly the brass bull was surrounded by crowds so we couldn't take photos of the girls next to it.

We then took a train to 59th Street and got the Roosevelt Tramway over to Roosevelt Island; another first for us. I really enjoyed the trip but the heat was just too much to explore the island so after a brief rest we got the tram back. Sian wanted to see the Guggenheim so we found a bench just across from it and sat for a while in the shade. A very unfriendly security guard sat right in the middle of the bench while we perched awkwardly on one end - there were no other free benches and we were all hot and exhausted otherwise I would have moved! Whilst there I took a series of shots of the museum that I'm quite happy with! We had ice-creams and decided to walk back to the hotel through the park.

After showers and changing clothes we went to an Italian restaurant called Coppola's for dinner - the food was great and the service really friendly. we then went to Times Square. They have only just started to pedestrianise it and it is cordoned off witrh cones. It is such a fun place; full of colour and life although very brash! We visited the M&M's store and Sian bought an umbrella! I have noticed that in US stores they have started saying "Next guest" instead of "next customer" - I don't know why, it seems overly polite to me!

Then it was home to bed!

Our first two days in New York...

We flew with Continental Airways from Manchester and they were great; flight took off on time, crew were friendly and food not too terrible! We arrived at Newark to find it very hot & sunny at midday and got a cab to our hotel, the Beacon, on the Upper West Side. Just opposite was a fantastic market, the Fairway, an absolute paradise of grocery items. After quickly dumping our bags and shedding some clothes we went down the block to the subway station to buy our 7 day Metro cards; then it was off to Greenwich Vilage. We wandered through the streets and admired the houses and shops, stopped off in Washington Square for some water and the girls' first ever pretzel; then walked up 5th Avenue. I was intrigued to see an open-mouthed lion statue on the back of a truck, next to a wicker baby carriage!

We had a little wander in the park before heading back towards our hotel, stopping off for dinner at the "City Grill" on the way. We picked up some breakfast items at the market before turning in for the night.

The next morning was very hot and sunny and we walked to Central Park, passing the Dakota building. We saw John Lennon's memorial mosaic in the park as we entered. On a beautiful bridge over a lake I noticed a couple getting engaged; I was just too late with my camera to catch him down on one knee- it would have been nice to email them the photo!

Central Park was full of characters that day - a young guy doing yoga, roller skaters dancing to the music in their ears from Ipods, two young boxers sparring, even a wedding couple plus photographer! We saw another guy in a yellow robe doing very odd moves but a passer-by told us he was "there every Sunday; he's just attention-seeking!" While we were admiring Belvedere Castle across the lake, a guitarist entertained us with his beautiful playing - he wsn't busking, just enjoying himself under the willow trees on a beautiful day.

After leaving the park we had an unsuccessful hunt for the Broadway Diner, where Phil and I had eaten on our three previous trips. By then it was sweltering so we ducked into Grand Central station - one of my favourite New York spaces. We found some nice food there including great cupcakes. We passed Bryant Park behind the NY public library and I was interested to see they have racks of books for loan in the park - how civilised and how trusting! Refreshed, we took the subway downtown and the Staten Island Ferry. It was looking very stormy by then but although it rained in Staten Island by the time we got back to Manhattan it was obvious the rain hadn't travelled that far.

After a quick look at the statue representing (ironically!) world peace, which used to stand in the plaza of the WTC but was placed, battered but not destroyed, in Battery Park after 9/11 and now has an eternal flame lit before it, we got back on the subway. We had a Mexican meal in Caliente (Greenwich Village) with wonderful freshly-made guacamole, then went to the Empire State Building. Then we queued. And we queued...and we queued! It has never taken so long to reach the observation deck but we enjoyed the spectacular views before returning to the hotel and BED!